Fear

I have never been the brave type, this is why my life is currently filled with fears. If I’d only listen to my own advice once in a while I would probably be able to cope with them. The thing is since I left the house at 18 I tried to conquer my fears. It wasn’t the best family situation but I made the best of becoming independent at a young age. Unfortunately I didn’t get my high school degree, but in the long run it didn’t hold me back. This was because I had to conquer my fears and face my insecurities.

Everything is about perspectives, the same thing goes with fear. It’s how you see it, and only how you want to see it. Sometimes traumatic experiences can hold you back of truly seeing what you need to. This was the case for myself too, I just left school and had to get my first job without any credentials. I started looking and quickly I found job as a non-profit organisation fundraiser.

What I learned at this job was more than a degree could ever teach me. I learned how to talk to people and how to listen, these two skill would be key in my further career path. This brings me to the first fear: social anxiety. This job thought me to cold-approach people and actually make a connection with them in a short time. I had my ups and downs during this periods but the most important part is that I learned to get over a certain fear by ‘just doing it’. Sounds easy right?

If only this was applicable to irrational fears, such as the fear for disease or death. Unfortunately this isn’t the case even though that would make it a lot easier. I myself am currently experiencing this myself as I’ve had a cancer diagnosis about 4 weeks ago with emergency surgery which went very well. Meaning the tumor they’ve found has been completely removed and I should be cancer-free soon.

Waiting for certain blood levels to drop can make you feel very insecure and scared at the same time. Nights of endless thinking, days trying to keep yourself occupied to ensure you don’t go insane. For many people (including myself) this is considered mental torture.

What I’ve noticed is that since the diagnosis I became a lot more on my own, resulting in not having a place to let my emotes out. Resulting in feeling isolated and depressed. This is why in these cases it’s very important to talk to people and if that doesn’t help you might even want to consider getting professional help, in which is no shame.

This is exactly what I did and believe me when I say it relieves a lot of weight from your shoulders.

Photo by Connor McSheffrey on Unsplash

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