I’m feeling down and that’s okay.

Since I’ve received my cancer diagnosis I’m feeling very down. There’s no way in pinpointing why and that’s okay. It’s the same reason I decided to go see a psychiatrist and there is no shame in that. One of the hardest things to do is admit that you need help, and accepting that is a strength on it’s own.

To give you an example of how I noticed my ‘feeling worse than normal’; today I went out with a friend to go out in the sun and grab a drink. Even though everyone is outside enjoying themselves, all this energy had a very intense impression on me. I just couldn’t cope being in between all these people.

It’s not rare for myself to be more of an introverted personality, this is how I’ve been since I decided to live by myself. I started being more on my own without knowing me why. The goal is to find out how to deal with this and function like a normal person again. How hard it may sound.

I made an appointment, agains’t my feeling I tried to open my mind for new ways of getting out of this and I’m convinced the only way is by talking to a professional. So this is what I will do.

Why am I posting this? To show that being vulnerable is not a weakness but a strength. I thought a different thing due to being in a sales environment, it made me feel bad about myself. After realizing this is who I am I felt like there is no turning back. There’s no reason in being a though cookie if it makes you feel unhappy. And this is what I am, unhappy.

Now let’s look at the bright side, whatever is broken can be fixed. You can see events such as this as a new opportunity to develop yourself and get to know yourself even more. And this is what I will do. 

I apologies for the heavy post, but this is something that I had to get of my chest.

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